2003-04-11 - 6:02 p.m.

So on Thursday I wake up in my car at about 7 am so I can get my reading done for the day. I go to my viticulture class, slowly walking along the grass and the hallways of Davis, while reading about Hemmingway’s adventures in Europe. The Sun Also Rises. Of course it is, what else is it supposed to do? What goes up must come down. What sets must rise. Or at least in the terms of the sun.

At Viticulture I sit next to Sarah. The instructor rambles. He seems so unsure of himself. Its like he is pleading the case of viticulture to us. Telling us that it is a respectable profession. He’s essentially arguing with his consciousness in front of hundreds of people. He’s a fucking Doctor. Shouldn’t he at least have some self-esteem? But Sarah and I don’t care because he isn’t that interested in the scientific aspects of viticulture. Neither are we. If we wanted to know about chemistry, then there would be more problems with the world. Certainly more homemade drugs in the world.

After Viticulture I walk with Sarah over to the M.U. as usual, I see James along the way. He is always there on Tuesdays and Thursdays – of course I’m a dependable guy. But I’m always out on the quad. I probably spend about 15 to 20 hours a week sitting on the quad.

Sarah asks me how the Indonesian tofu is. I have never had it. I’ve had one thing served hot from the school, and that was a burrito served on the first day of school in September. Dumb rich white kids can’t make burritos so I only buy cold salads that don’t fall apart on me. While I’m pondering Indonesian Tofu Gordon comes up and talks to me. The cafeteria of the M. U. is to Gordon what the quad is to me. I always run into him there. Of course I have only known the guy for couple of weeks. He asks me about Aisha. Like I would know. Then I introduce him to Sarah; Gordon tries to act all suave with her. He mentions that he showed me a poem the other day. I tell Sarah that I am the Lawrence Ferlinghetti of the Davis campus. She is amused. Gordon wants to come to Write Club but he is rushing for a frat. I tell him that it is every week so he need not worry. He is very excited by this. He tells Sarah that I liked his poem and then he sits back down. I decide on a large Indonesian Tofu. A hot dish. My first in over 6 months. The girl shortchanges me though and Sarah says that I should ask for more. I say that I’ll just tell the cashier that it is a small. Sarah and I wait for the ungodly slow register. The modem for the credit card machine is like a message service run by marching ants. Sarah and I continue talking about Standardized tests. She teaches at Kaplan. When we get to the register the cashier asks me what size I have. I say small. Then she asks if we are together. I make the joke that no matter how hard I try Sarah always rejects me. We all laugh and then when Sarah’s card finally goes though. We continue talking. She asks me if I’m going straight to Olsen and I say I am. She looks disappointed because I guess she wanted to talk to me more. Or maybe I’m just a hopeful fool.

As I walk to Olsen I check the message that I just got while I was in viticulture. It’s Aisha. She isn’t happy about what I said about Allah in my diary entry. Aisha said that wasn’t going to read my diary anymore. The other day she actually asked me not to put anything of what she and Nadia said on the quad in my diary. Yesterday I wrote that Allah does not love us. That was always my understanding. I would gladly be educated on the subject. But I was always told that the Christian god gives unconditional love. Because he is a bitch. He loves you but you don’t have to love him back. Allah isn’t so much of a bitch. He doesn’t love me because I’m an infidel, a heathen, and someone that is nowhere near a pillar of Islam, and I don’t love him. I don’t love any gods. I love my family, my friends, and my penis – in no particular order.

I also forgot to write about something funny that Aisha said at Delta Venus the other night. She was talking about how wonderful water is and what the world would be like without it. Everything would be small because it wouldn’t have any water. So then we all talked bout dehydrated people and I said the Lilliputians were just dense people – all flesh, no liquid. Aisha always says entertaining and profound stuff. Only Virgins can see Unicorns, according to her. And many others.

At my poetry class I walk in and give a thumbs up sign to the Grad students I know. I climb over a row of chairs and stand in front of Nathan, Shane, and Jon – three of the guys I know in the class. I not over in the direction of Micah. One of the guys asks me how come I know everyone. I want to know how come everyone knows me.

In poetry we talk more about Louie Armstrong. And whether or not the song is a poem. I raise my hand and say that with the beauty and power of Armstrong voice – any time he said something it was a poem. Then Professor Gilbert started arguing with me. What if he was just listing of street names? Then I say it would be a found poem. I don’t back down.

After class I hurry over to my Mexican American history Class. The instructor tells us to pick up articles in the front of the class. We all cram up there and do so. God forbid she just pass them out. Then we are supposed to read them before the class. 6 pages single-spaced in 5 minutes. Fuck that. Do I look like a genius? No I look like an escaped mental patient.

Then at the end of class she says we are supposed to break up in-groups and talk about the articles. She’s talked all through out the class. I have read 4 paragraphs. And groups. I’m a mohawked white guy in a brown skin room – no one wants to talk to me – and plus I have to read the articles. She lets us all go early though because she sees that it is useless.

Off to Hemmingway. I have actually done all the reading for the first time. We talk about all the hidden symbolism in Hemmingway’s work. And then we watch a video of a bullfight. I haven’t said anything in the class yet. I’m timid for once in my life.

The I go to the Mu. U. And I run into Aisha. She apologizes for being angry on the phone message. It’s no big deal. I like an angry woman. It amuses me. I also have an uncontrollable urge to laugh when people cry. I don’t know what it is. I’m compensating or disconnecting myself or something. Or maybe when you get down to it – I’m an ass. Aisha shows me a poem she just wrote. A really good one, it is the best I have seen her write yet. I read her a poem that I wrote when I was 16 that I happened to have on me. It’s horrible, but that is an oxymoron – all 16 year poetry is horrible. Eventually Chris shows up and Aisha and I yell fratboy. And then he yells freshman. I tell Aisha about Chris being an adrenaline junky. Then I have to go to class and I leave the two of them alone to talk. Which makes me feel a little uncomfortable because I have no idea what Chris is going to say. He’s kind of crazy like I am. But the only thing he would say would probably be a reiteration of something that I said so how could I be angry with honesty.

My poetry discussion was too mellow. The poems were boring and there wasn’t any heated debates. I didn’t say nearly anything offense. I tried to put a joke in when Darcy, the instructor, was trying to remember the name of Petrach girlfriend that he wrote all the sonnets for. I asked does it really matter. I meant does the name of the woman really matter. It was a subtle misogynistic joke. I’m not misogynist but a joke is a joke.

After that I walk back to the M.U. Aisha is still there. I sit and talk some more. Then azver show up and she asks him what his name means. We talk about Middle Eastern geography for 5 minutes and then about how Azver is going to be a R. A. next year. He would be a good R. A.

Then 7 PM approaches and Azver and I walk toward Wellman Hall. Aisha says she’ll show up later. I set up the signs for Write Club. I start talking to the members and eventually a total of 12 people show up. 8 people perform. I read the same poems that I read at delta on Wednesday but I have since revised one. I talk about Aisha thinking that I’m a pervert for mentioning my nephew’s penis. Dan gets up and reads an epic poem about his father. Then Gus reads a story about an abortion clinic. He reads it very well. Will gets up and rambles through a short set of untitled brilliance. Grace gets up and reads her romantic self-reflexive words. Kristin reads her stream of consciousness poetry. Liza gets up and sings a beautiful song. Then Aisha reads her poem that she showed me earlier. It was a great club meeting. Everyone there introduced themselves. There was quality performances of quality work. It made me happy. I felt like I accomplished something. Putting a dozen people in a room and show casing genius.

Then we walked to the liquor store at second and B to buy some booze. Aisha says she wants to get drunk. We buy beer there and then I get tequila out my car. We walk back to wellman to watch the movie.

The film has already started but its not too far in. I proceed to get drunk. Dan and Chris start running around the room and trying to get James to drink. James is the president. He does not condone our drinking. Lisa tells Dan and Chris to hush. That’s kind of messed up because she used to heckle like the rest of us, the loudest and most viscous of the hecklers was Lisa. Aisha tells them to hush but she has never heckled. I just sit relatively quiet and drink. I start snapping along to the sound track though, and a bunch of other people join me. That was great. Azver shows up eventually also. He takes a beer so then Lisa does also, even though she had previously decline. Aisha isn’t nearly getting as drunk as she claimed she wanted. She’s a booze tease.

After the movie we weren’t very discrete about having alcohol. I felt bad for James. Then we walked over to Dan’s place with Aisha and then Chris drove to his place. But first we went to Safeway to buy more booze.

I ran into to Anna from my English 5p class by the booze section. We talk about the offensive shit that I wrote in that class. She showed it to other people. Like the people that she was standing with. They all think I’m a sick fuck. But I’m such a loveable sick fuck that I get away with it. But that love is a platonic love, because – even though I’m a sick fuck I’m not actually getting fucked.

We go out into Chris car and I accidentally spill booze on his floor. We rush to his apartment and I clean it up. Then Aisha and Dan give me Absinthe to drink. I don’t now what it until I’ve downed a high ball glass of it. It tastes horrible. Like rotten tea and shit water. I put a sugar cube in my mouth to get rid of the taste. Dan and Chris say they tried to make it right but they fucked up because it’s not the correct color. They want me to tell them if I start hallucinating. I’m just drunk. We continue watching this Black and White Johnny Depp movie and talking about random shit. I can’t get enough of the dried apples that are sitting on Chris’ table. Aisha says she wants to go. She thinks that she can walk back to her dorm but its like 20 block away. Plus her backpack is at Dan’s. We all drive back over there. And then Aisha walks home. The three of us guys hop back in the car and go back to Chris’.

Once there we decide to walk around Davis. That’s what you do when you are with Chris. Especially because he had no weed so his living room didn’t feel right.

We walked over to look at the houses that we are thinking about living in next year. Then we walk over to Safeway again. Chris and I steal a donut. Dan steals a bagel and we walk around the store. It 1:55 AM. We decide on buying Pringles. When we are being rung up a guy tells the cashier to add a bagel on to the total.

We walk back out not the street of Davis. I get convinced to come to Burning man with them this summer.’

On the way back to Chris’ we walk past the high school and talk about how young the girls look when they are 15. Then I talk about my nephew. Chris says I should bring him to school one day and use him as a chick magnet. Chris also says that if Dan and I manage to get a girlfriend we can take her to his family’s spa in Calistoga. All right a destination.

Back at Chris house we drink more but at 3:15 we go back to Dan’s where I crash on the couch.

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