2003-04-21 - 10:04 p.m.

I woke up Saturday morning at 9:45. It didn't feel like 9:45. I needed to piss. I hadn't gone since the g street pub and I had a lot of beer in me. We stayed up dancing until almost 6 a.m. I sat in a chair wondering what to do. I was in the guts of the Turtle house. Bottom floor direct center. Faith was sleeping in the room between myself and the exit. I didn't want to open the door because I didn't want to interrupt her in her own house. But she got up and went to the bathroom herself, wearing only a towel - which meant that she was sleeping naked so it was a good thing I didn't walk through. It could have been a good thing if I did, but that is unlikely. I was sitting in the chair staring off into space and she said that she was going back to bed so I better go back to sleep or leave now. She had a false authority to her voice, as if she was trying to be sure of her self but she wasn't sure if she could be sure of herself. I got up and put my shoes on and told her thank you for the floor.

On the door to the house Faith wrote a warning note. She said that inside a Dragon is napping so don't knock unless you bring sex, food, or booze. I think Faith is pretending to be something. She is so cocky yet she tries to hard to be. She is the epitome of the song, "Hey little red riding hood. You sure are looking good. You're everything a big bad wolf would want." But she is both little red riding hood and the big bad wolf depending what hour you find her at. And she analyses everyone else to ignore her own insecurities. My friend Lisa does the same thing. I walked away from the house alone, unlike Vincent and Jennifer that left together last night, or like Dan and Teresa, who are still laying in Teresa's bed.

So I wanted to take a shower. Cleanliness is next to godliness and I am a megalomaniac. I drive home. My whole family is home but I sneak no my room. I turn on my computer in hope of documenting recent events in the forum you are reading. But my mother comes in and distracts me. They are having an Easter egg hunt across the street at the park and my 4-year-old nephew is going.

At the park I lead my nephew around. I help him find Easter eggs during the hunt. I think that is stupid. Adults shouldn't be allowed to help, but seeing as they are I wanted to do what I could. As soon as my nephew Jason found an egg he couldn't care less about finding another one but I still told him to look. I couldn't pick up any so I had to direct him. It is weird how I could see a bright egg so obviously and he missed it. Kids can be so unobservant in one moment and then little buddahs the next. Jason picked up seven eggs. There were some kids that had well over a dozen. It didn't matter that Jason had less because he didn't care that he had less.

We wandered around the park. My mother is obsessed with taking pictures. She has this assumption that my sister and brother-in-law will get so angry with her that they will take nephew Jason away forever. My mother overreacts. She has panic attacks. She is undiagnosed manic depressive paranoid schizophrenic. I date crazy women because my mother is crazy. I admit it. I am used to nutty women. I am addicted to chaos. I've already explained my theory. If I date a crazy woman and make her well then I get the credit. If I date a woman and the relationship fails then it isn't my fault because she is crazy.

My nephew's birthday party is today at the Ben & Jerry's in Sacramento. I am not going because I would have to be around my brother and law and my ex-girlfriend. I spent enough time with my nephew and my mother. I like spending time with my sister but I don't want to be around her husband and she knows that so she has to pay the consequences. My nephew spends a lot of time with my mother. He thinks I am the coolest person on the planets. He once frond her father's beard clipper and tried to give himself a Mohawk just like me. Though of myself as a role model until now. I only have sibling, my older sister, so it is a very interesting thought knowing that I will know my nephew until the day I die. It feels comforting.

I drive to Davis. I always drive to Davis. Things work in reverse for me. A lot of people drive o Sacramento to look for things to do. I go to Davis because that is where I know people. Just look at me. Bright red or silver or platform shoes. Curl blonde mustache, crazy red go-tee, and a Mohawk: I'm a small town kind of guy.

I go the computer lab but my friend Kristin calls me up and then I go over there.

She makes coffee and I talk to her and her (boy)friend Mike about the Write Club site. We are going to redo it and he is going to be my bandwidth server. We just needed to talk about stuff.

I go to work. Tina and I talk about our love lives. She says the longest she has gone without sex is 5 weeks. It's been almost 5 months for me. She says that I should go to a party and go after the drunkest girl. I could do that but I'm not that aggressive in getting girls to fuck me. I probably could get it all done in one night but I lack the confidence.

I will write about the party I went to on Saturday later tonight. A party that lasted until 6 in the morning in a girl's bed.

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