2003-04-22 - 10:04 p.m.

Just a reminder: I (Rob Roy) will be co-hosting Br. Andy’s Radio and technology hour on Wednesday April 23rd at 5pm on KDVS 90.3.

If you haven’t read the last few entries you may want to catch up.

4/20.2003

I rush from Dani’s apartment to work on Sunday. I’m supposed to buy bananas for work, but I stay as late as I possibly can and Dani’s. It just feels so goof to touch another person. I don’t know what will become of us. All we did was make out. I write a lot about getting pussy in this diary, but I’ll settle for tongue on most nights. But women only kiss me when they’re drunk. I don’t know if she was attracted to me or I was sure conveniently located at a convenient time.

I told her about what purpose I serve to women. I’m the guy that will piss off a dad. Ladies I am available to offend fathers of every race, political party, or religion. No father wants to think about Rob Roy’s penis being in his daughter’s vagina. I’ve had ex girlfriends tell me that before they dated me they thought about how they wanted a guy that would piss off their dad and then along came me. Dani said that when she saw me she thought that I was the type of guy that would make her dad flip out.

I buy bananas and, ilk and then rush to Ben & Jerry’s. As long as I am there to open the store at noon everything will be fine. I show up at 11:56. A few minutes later the owner of the Ben & jerry’s in Roseville shows up. He was sitting outside the whole time. He looks around. I don’t like it one bit because he has talked about buying the Davis Ben & jerry’s. If he does then I will be out of a job. I’ve worked here for almost 4 years. I’m famous ice cream man, that is for however famous an ice cream man can be, and I don’t want to quit. Mainly because I won’t find a job that pays as well so easily. The guy from Roseville knows who I am though.

I get off work at 6 pm. I go to the computer lab and talk to Kristin on the phone. That is about it for the day.

4/21.2003

I wake up early on this day and go to school to see if I’m in the Aggie. If my predictions are right then I will be. And I am. There is a horrible article and an even more horrible picture of me talking about Write Club. I never met the guy that interviewed me – that says everything you need to know.

I then set up the poster for Write Club in the M. U. I put poetry by Dan, Kristin, Aisha, Lisa, and myself in the window with the poster Kristin designed – she is a design doll, you know.

Then I go to work. I get there late once again. I stay there until seven PM. I scoop ice cream over and over again. All with a smile. I throw it in the air over and over again. All with a smile. I don’t get tipped over and over again. I still have a smile. I’ve been doing this since the summer of 1999. I’ve probably scooped 100,000 ice cream cones.

After work Kristin and James see me crossing First Street. I pile in Kristin’s car and we go to Dos Coyotes. While there we talk about the Aggie and how much it sucks. We have all read the whole thing – okay, most of it. No one but us reads the whole thing. Not even the editor of the newspaper can bare to read the whole thing, otherwise we would either be crying or killing himself.

At Dos James gets a few tacos. They fuck up his order twice. The poor neurotic bastard thinks that they are going to spit in his food because he complains. Kristin and I tell him that he paid for it so he should get what he wants. I remember a few days ago James sat next to me on the quad and talked about how he wanted to wash his hands because a guy with warts just shook his hand. James has the worst luck; it is like the world taunts his hypochondria every minute of the day.

James tells a story about a crazy girl that he met sophomore year. She cried a wolf of a suicide attempt after trying to get James to spend the night with her. I’m interesting in meeting the girl because I love talking to the crazies.

It was nice to see Kristin and James getting along. Kristin came to Alternative Film Club last week for the first time since I have been going. She said it was because James made her feel uncomfortable. She used to be good friends with James until she hooked him up with her good friend Annaleise. Then James and Annalise spent all their time together and Kristin was jealous. Now Annaleise is ignoring the both of them so they are friends again. It works out all right with me because it makes me less uncomfortable. They get along so we all get along. I just have to deal with Annaleise’s new guy at KDVS. I like Annaleise, but I’m not too sure about Todd.

After dinner I go to the computer lab. I get a phone call at around 10 from Alisha asking me to go into work so I do. Once there I find out that I’m not needed. So then I drive home to Sacramento. I talk to my mother about being in the Aggie and on the radio and where I’m going to live. She wants to know about my love life. I’m not going to tell my mother much anymore, unless I know about things for sure. I don’t know anything for sure right now, other than I’m fucking lonely and would like a girlfriend. It’s always nice to have someone to depend on and is a sure thing. I’m will to be dependable and a sure-thing but as of now no one is asking.

My mother reads in the Aggie about my stand-up performance. She tries hers out on me. It is about when a good day to die is. Never die on Friday. Too much bureaucracy my mother gets a role going but she can’t maintain the stamina of the performance. I laugh a couple times but I give her some pointers. My mother – the death comedienne. She reads about the poetry drinking game that I made up. She doesn’t like that. Poetry and alcohol go together like rufies and rape.

After talking to my mother I go and waste my life watching TV.

4/22.2003

Then I sleep until 10:30. Because of the commute I know I’m going to miss my viticulture class, but my friend Sarah takes good notes.

I stop by a shop on Watt Ave called The Underground. I want to buy a 311 poster for Dani because her apartment number is 311. I think it would be a good thing to hang in her living room. Maybe all of her friends could sign it when she throws a party. Her birthday is this Friday and I don’t know if I’m invited. I don’t know much.

I can’t find the exact poster I want but I buy one 311 poster that is on sale. I also buy a Salvador Dali poster and I pot pipe.

Then I go to Davis. I go to poetry and don’t say anything in class. The people I know in the class are Micah and his girlfriend?, John, Shane, Catherine, Jenny, Darcy, Chuck, and Nathan.

I buy some salad and saw Jillian from my English 5F class in the fall quarter. I run into Sophie while I look at the Earth Day display on the quad. We talk but then the Cal PIRG girl comes up and talks to me. The one that always sits by herself at the movies. I know I’ll never get with Sophie so I’m distracted by the Cal PIRG girl. I talk to her about the movies and the film festival I saw her at. I sign a petition for her. Sophie signs it also.

Then I run into Dan and Azver afterward. We talk about how shitty the article in the paper was. This guy keeps coming up to us asking us if we want to now what is Davis water. Every person that comes up to us he asks. Aisha stops by for a second. She asks where I went on Saturday night. I tell her that I stayed at the party. I omitted that I slept in Dani’s bed. If she would ask I would tell her though. Aisha asks me when I’m going to take English 100 poetry because she wants to take it with me. She also wants to edit a literary magazine with me next year. I don’t know what any of this means. Maybe she is more attracted to me because she saw me with Dani sprawled out on top of me. It seems like a game an 18-year-old girl would play. I would love to edit a magazine with Aisha though. I think she would be a good editor.

Then I walk with Dan to the Aggie offices. We want copies of the pictures Matt the photographer took at the Write Club meeting. Dan also wants to complain to Aaron the Arts editor about his CD review. Aaron won’t publish it because he thinks it is too crazy and will badly reflect upon him. The CD review is a giant homage to Ginsberg’s "Howl."

At the Aggie offices we talk to Grace. She asks me if I like her new design to her diaryland site (noirrealist). Then we go and hound the photography editor. She is this delusional girl that thinks The Aggie is the best university magazine there is. Did she see the picture of me on Monday? Like I said, she is delusional, but she gives us the info that we need – Matt’s number. As I walk out I see Jessica, one of the girls that was at Dani’s party and I also went out with her to Crepeville with her and James and others.

Then I stop next door at KDVS. I see Erica, Kristin’s roommate on the air. In the offices I go in and take a few stickers and a key chain for Dan. I talk to Essa about Luther vandross. He was on the radio earlier today singing Luther Vandross for the KDVS Fundraiser with Mable. I told him old Luther was featured on David Bowie’s Young Americans album so if he claims to never have heard Vondross sing that means he’s missing out on a great Bowie album.

I go to the art building with Dan and call Matt on the way. He says he’ll burn the photos onto a disc and drop him of at Dan’s box tomorrow.

I walk to the quad and see a girl that always orders chocolate fudge brownie on a cone at work. I’m tempted to talk to her but she starts using her cell phone as soon as I get close. Alas, her mobile phone saved me from rejection because I can’t get rejected if I don’t even try.

Eventually I end up on the quad. I sit for a few minutes and Eloise walks up to me with some friends. They want me to make a sound for them. But then Eloise asks me to read a poem so I perform my Picnic day poem.

I go to Hemingway. I get a nod from jackson in front of the library and I nod hello. I hear a hello from Alisha from work while she rides her bike next to one of the Christian guys that sat and talked with us on the quad last week. I yell back to her. The people I know in the class are Aaron the arts editor and singer of Brilliant red Lights, Payam – who has his own band, and Hillary – who is in half my classes.

After class I’m tempted to talk to Aaron about how I am disappointed by the Write Club article in the Aggie but I don’t want to seem like an ingrate. Plus he looks like he is in a bad mood. I guess Dan’s complaint earlier in the day didn’t help any.

While I walk Payam comes up to me and hands me his headphones. He’s listening to Nirvana’s In utero. We talk about Nirvana while we walk. We both think the Nervermind album is overrated. Just like Hemmingway is overrated. We talk about how our Professor over-glorifies Hemingway because he knows so much about him and teaches a course on him. By over glorifying him then he makes his own life more meaningful. Payam thinks that he reads too much into Hemmingway’s work. I agree. Then I say that I prefer creative writing classes. I would rather make my own literature than be forced to study the work of others. The last thing Payam and I talk about s the cat that prowls the neighborhood. People may hold deeds to the houses or rent out the rooms on the block but the cat owls every blade of grass or particle of asphalt. The cat even chases Gepeddo, Dan’s girlfriend Teresa’s dog.

I go to my car to charge my phone and make my way back to campus where I run into Dan as soon as I cross A street. Then I walk back with him to his apartment. We talk about how we spend too much on alcohol. Chris, Dan, and I spent an average $15 per person on Alcohol last Wednesday when we stayed up all night drinking. And all but 2 beers of that total were grocery store alcohol. That is a lot of booze for one night. We talked about the weird subculture of the Turtle house. I talked about my crazy night with Dani. He talked about be an older brother and I talked about being an Uncle. We talked about finding a place to live next year. The crazy parties we will throw. I looked at the poetry of the 100P students in his class. We talked about the party that Alternative Film Club may throw and the one Kristin may throw on May third. I left Dan’s feeling like I was validated because I knew a lot of people. It is always nice not be a stranger. Then I came to the computer lab and finally got caught up on my Diaryland site.

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