2003-05-05 - 1:59 a.m.

4/27.2003

I wake up Sunday morning on Chris couch. His roommates make a noise. people keep coming in and out. Tom comes back from Tahoe and brings his skies in. People keep coming in and out at I see matt for a brief moment through my squinted eyes. Tom moves the keg inside. A big onomonopiatic noise is made. And then people keep coming in and out. I get up and clean up a bit and then go to work. i hate having to work every sunday morning. I always go to sleep past 3 am on Saturday nights so i never get a full night’s sleep because i have to be at work at 11 am, but I’m always late. As long as i meet the deadline of opening up Ben & jerry’s by noon I am fine.

I work with Christine and she talks about what a bum her husband is. That is all she ever talks about. i tell her that she needs to reform him. Any self respecting woman should have a policy that she should never give a blow job to a man that doesn’t have a job.

After work i go over to Jenny’s place. The klan outfit is hanging in the open doorway. it looks great. Jenny and gina are gluing boxes together for my hood support. We look at the tie dye design of the outfit and question which side is the front and which is the back. they start to paint the phrase What Would HENRY ROLLNS Do? on the front. They tell me that they won’t be able to watch the movies Jenny and i talked about on Friday night. mainly because Gina is busy. It would be perfectly fine, and by that i mean perfectly fine, if I got to watch the films alone in a dark room with Jenny. Sitting right next to her. as it is now i’m such a chicken shit when it comes to women. Women terrify me. They have all the power in the world. i never fear rejection because rejection never matters. unless I care about being rejected. if i do or say some crazy thing and it doesn’t get a laugh of approval then it isn’t a big deal. But I’m terrified of putting myself in a vulnerable place and being rejected. If i don’t try to cross the street they i can’t be overrun by the car whizzing by like a woman in my life. i know that if i don’t try to cross the street then i’ll never catch a ride, so it works both ways and i know this. i also know that the analogy i just made sucks so i’ll move on.

After they are done painting we set it one a table for it to dry. jenny is still nursing a head ache from staying up to late talking with me the other night. So i don’t stick around, but i do agree to come over on monday night.

I drive over to Chris’ place and all the lights are off. i drive over to froggy’s bar. i walk around to see if anyone is around. i walk into Woodstcik’s pizza and hear pantera being blasted over the speakers. Awesome. but i don’t see anyone I know. i go over to g St and talk to Bruce a little bit but leave because i don’t see any of my friends.

i drive home. Listen to the end of the KDVS fundraiser. Nathan D.’s Japanese rock and anime show is the last one. i am so tempted to call up and play the song “i think I’m turning japanese” over the phone when he is on the air, but i didn't. The only reason i didn't is because i don’t own the song, but if I did...

4/28.2003

I go to work today. I show up late. Whenever I open I show up late. I’m there for seven hours. I influenced the world in such wonderful ways by scooping ice cream for those seven hours. Forget about Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfield - my job is important. Ahhhhh, sarcasm. well at least i bring more smiles into the world instead of death totals.

After work I go to jenny’s. she is alone when i get there. much to my happiness. i like Gina, but she cramps my style. she should go and fuck her boyfriend so I can fuck her bestfriend. Well, talk to her bestfriend and then kiss her best friend and then date her bestfriend and then fuck her bestfriend. that is what i mean when i say i want to fuck a woman. i don’t mean i jsut want to fuck them, but I just drop all the extra words. When i want to fuck a woman that means i want to get to know her well enough to the point that she will let me fuck her.

So i’m alone with jenny for a few minutes and then gina shows up. We talk for a little bit but thankfully she has school work to do. Jenny has to go shopping at Rite aid for food. I walk to my car and drop off the outfit then say that i need some stuff from Rite aid. I just ran out of deoterant and that is about all that I need. But an excuse is an excuse. We walk to Rite aid and i watch her shop. She buys most of her food at Rite aid, which intrigues me. it is the closest store to her house. Their used to be a grocery store right across the street but it has since closed down. She buys some soy protein, cereal, and cookies. I buy deoterant. Tom’s of maine brand, which causes a conversation about one of her old vegan friends from high school. Al ot of her stories involve friends she had in high school. And her parents. She has a theory about the children of psychologists. they are all crazy. Either because their parents try to hard or are just crazy themselves. A lot of people go into psychology because they intrigued by their own dysfunction, and then whether they like it or not, they pass that down to their children. Jenny has seen 20 psychologists over her near 23 years.

we look at some of the crap on sale after easter. i pick up some bob the builder candy for my nephew. We talk about bob the builder and then these Rabbit goblets that are just freaky. When we pay the cashier asks if we want to donate a dollar to some charity. I pay first and say sure, its all just a ploy. Don’t women like generous men that are good with kids?

We walk back through the University shopping center. I talk about the crazy selection of stores there. The Sylvan learning center is oof to the side. What the hell is learning center doing in a strip mall? Then there is a subway. Subways are everywhere so that is as normal as herpes. Then the blood bank. A blood bank in a mall. Only is Davis. then am asian restaurant. Asians in Davis. You don’t say. 40% of the school population. And place this is california. Forget about the United Nations the ambassadors of the world are walking through the streets of L.A., San diego, San Francisco, Modesto, and Davis.

jenny and i are amused by the Computer Tutor which is another learning store, not 100 feet from the Sylvan learning center. then right next to that is the Grad. I have never been to the Grad. I tell jenny about my friend chris being carded by an asshole bouncer there. She has been there twice and never had a problem, of course she doesn’t drink so she may have less problems then most problem. The grad conversation ends our conversation about the crazy layout of the mall. But we talk about fake IDs and how to make money selling them as a bouncer. take someone’s fake id and then sell it to another person. Its capitalism at its finest.

back at jenny’s place we talk for quite sometime. about KMFDM and the jar of sauerkraut that has been in her fridge for over three years. She never moved until she picked it up for me. We talk about earthquakes and she tells me about going to the earthquake history museums the day that the 1989 earthquake happened in SF. She learned all about earthquake safety and then at 5:04 she was at the Japanese tea gardens and the ground started bending. Her mother took her and her brother over to stand underneath a tree. Jenny said that it wasn’t safe but her mother didn’t listen. jenny also talked about hawaii and what's it s like spending a lot of time their on an island that barely has roads.

It starts to get late but we keep talking. I tell her about the fucked up house on sycamore. I tell her about wanting to get scurvy She is very amuses. Good. Women want a man with a decent sense of humor, just look at my face, ladies I am right here waiting and sensing humor.

I leave her place at around 11 pm. I go home. To sleep alone. I hate sleeping alone. I hate 99% of my nights.

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