2003-05-21 - 9:04 a.m.

5/17.2003 - continued

So I drive to Sacramento to go to some record stores. I go to RECORDS on K Street. It is a great place. I buy some Johnny Cash records, John Lee Hooker, Oingo Boingo, and Milli Vanilli. The Milli Vanilla was, just because. Why not? Of all the records some one would think that I would have it would be the last. It’s a great testament to the early nineties music scene. History, via vinyl.

I talk to the guy behind the counter about Sara, our mutual friend. I also talk to him about the record that is sitting on the counter. It is called Fear, Love, and Death. It has performances by Henry Rollins, Jello Biafra, Anton Lavey (Founder of the Church of Satan), and Charles Manson, and others. I ask him how much the record is and he says it isn’t for sale. I’m interested in all four of those characters to varying degrees. I will now search for the record.

The main reason I am in RECORDS is to by a Shel Silverstein record for April’s birthday. I have no idea about the status between the two of us, but I might as well give her a gift. It’s someone’s birthday. I try to do something for a friend on their birthday. If it’s not a gift then I’m chipping on some a whole lot of booze. I buy a record for Lisa D. because I haven’t gotten her anything for her birthday, but maybe all that booze I gave her at the beginning of the quarter can carry over.

I can’t find a Shel Silverstein record so I go to Esoteric Records on 15th and L. I am now addicted to being records. They are so cheap. I buy some there but I still don’t find a Silverstein record so I drive to the Esoteric on El Camino in Sacramento. They have a bunch of monumental records on sale for a dollar. I spend way too much money but its fair to say that I have a record collection now.

Heather calls me and asks what I am doing tonight. I tell her about a party on Lillard that I know about. I call up Dan to verify then I call back Heather. I don’t know why Heather called me because obviously I am into April and April is out of town, but its cool that she wants to be friends.

I drive to my Mother’s place to take a shower and drop off my records. My nephew is there so I end up playing with him for a while. My mother also got a new stove. She’s 51 and never in her lifetime has she purchased a stove. The one she has came with the house that she bought in 1974. The old one died. Its weird to be so used to something in a room that hasn’t changed for years, but now something old is gone and something new has replaced. It’s just a stove, but it works the same for the Trailer in our backyard that has always been there. My whole life, but in a few weeks it will be completely gone. Change: Its bound to happen. Farts are bound to happen also.

I drive back to Davis. I go to Dan’s and see Lisa D. and him walking out to Lisa’s car. They are going to Lisa’s place to pick up some booze. Then to the party.

I call up Heather to ask her when she will be ready. She says in forty-five minutes she’ll be ready.

I drive over to Lisa’s place. I see george out front. He asks me what the hell i am doing there. It turns out he lives in the same complex as Lisa. I tell him about the party. he tells me to invite Aisha. I go up to Lisa’s and we pick up some booze then go to Jordan’s place. Jordan doesn’t have any furniture. His apartment has five inhabitants - all men. No one talked to each other before they moved in so they all showed up with just a televisions and a bed. One guy showed with with no bed but a television. What they had there was a failure to communicate. But Jordan does have booze. Azver is there and he is depressed because the Sacramento Kings lost and were eliminated from the playoffs. I’m depressed too. Azver is the only other genuine Kings fan that i know in Davis, but we are both local boys so it is fitting.

At one point Lisa starts to introduce us all to together. She is genuine about this. We tell her that we all know each other. We have all hung out together on previous occasions. Lisa has already started drinking rum. I have never seen lisa really drunk before, i am looking foreword to.

I find out how to get to the location of the party on Lillard then I drive to pick up Heather. I ask heather if Carrie is coming. I think that would be weird see as Dan did everything but the kitchen sink with Carrie on Thursday night. heather says that she doesn’t know. i make a reference that i saw this guy named George told me to invite Aisha. heather likes Aisha, she thinks she is interesting, I should invite her. I leave a message on Aisha’s machine. I pick up a bottle of wine that Dan left the other night

I drive Heather to the party and see Christoff K. out front. i wish him happy birthday. I then go to the backyard to get some beer. There are three kegs. A keg of Bass, a keg of Fosters, and a keg of Heineken. It might as well be the International House. the best selection of beer i have seen all year at a party. i think this party is being thrown by Stan and Dan. these guys that were in my fiction class. an is okay. I think he is a little uneasy about me. i said hello to him when i saw him at a henry Rollins show and he seemed uncomfortable. Stan doesn’t like me. i can tell because he tries at all cost to ignore me. he has a tone in his voice when he says hello to me. he only says hello after i say hello to him. I don’t like him because he is undeservedly arrogant. I couldn’t care less that he thinks he is better than me - i don’t think he is - but he thinks he is better than everyone. But he does have good taste in beer so he isn’t pure evil.

Dan shows up. heather immediately gets him to sit down and talk with her. Now i realize that heather called me and wanted to come to the party because of Dan. they were making out Thursday night. Dan actually made out with two different women over the span of an hour. i wonder if he would do that sober. Azver has brought some Sangria; one of the sweetest lies that was ever bottled. the drink is filled with alcohol, but the taste sure gives off a lie of omission on that matter because you would never know its alcohol volume.

I run into this girl that sits next to Micah in my poetry class. I have talked to her but never actually get her name. It is Kristen. She actually came with Azver, Jordan, Dan, and Lisa. They picked her up while I was picking up heather. I ask kristen is she is dating Micah because they certainly do give off that impression, and they aren’t. She says that she wants to come to Write Club but she has a discussion session for poetry that runs to seven. i tell her we never start on time so show up at 7:10. She says that she will come this week. I’ll believe that when i see it.

I go over and talk to Jackson P., Jeff R., and Tom D. - all from the California Aggie. I mainly just chastise jackson about his clip on tie. Tom introduces me to his girlfriend Annie and her cousin Christine. I may have already been introduced to Annie once before but who cares.

i go over and talk to Dan and heather. They are sitting by the kegs. I keep trying out the different flavors, while also drinking from the bottle of wine that keeps getting passed between Lisa, Dan, and I - the three Pirates of the pentagram that are attending the party. I ask heather what April said about me. Heather says that April had no complaints. i respected her and she had a very good time with me. I then go rambling on about how I would like to spend more time with April. because lets be honest, if she liked kissing and fondling with me that much then i assume she’ll like to expand our repertoire. Heather says that April is graduating in less than a month so I should take that into consideration. I tell her that i know this, but i want to spend some time with April over the month. heather says that April is the type of person to take the whole “leaving in a month thing” into consideration. I’m getting drunk. I’ve had five beers and over half a liter of wine. I tell heather that April claims that i gave her an orgasm. heather smiles. I then ask for a few more ideas about what to get April for her birthday. The only knew idea I get is a reminder that April likes Salvador Dali. That explains why she kissed me. Because she probably never kissed a guy with a crazy Daliesque mustache before. Surrealists artists, I am here for you if you want to experience such things.

I see Casey, the first person i ever had an extended conversation with that goes to Davis. i met her at Freshman orientation. I go up to her and say hello Casey. She looks at me wide eyed - like my friend valerie did at the strip club when she realized who i was. Casey can’t believe it. She recognizes me, but i used to weigh fifty pounds more, had a shaven face, and a full head of hair. She introduces me to her friends Bethany, mary, brandon, and Fitz. One of her friends grew up in Woodland but has never even heard of KDVS. Jordan, Agent J on KDVS, is 3 feet away from me. I tell him this and he laughs. Casey isn’t even 18 years old yet because she graduated high school early. Everyone in her group is a freshman. The party is full of freshman. i guess that is the strategy of the guys throwing the party. Get ‘em while they’re young. Get ‘em while they are eager to please.

I talk to Casey about what i have been doing. She can’t believe that i know so many people at the party. I tell her its the hair cut, plus I’m not afraid to mingle. She’s just standing off in the corner wit her select group of friends - that isn’t how you meet people. I offer her a swig of the Cabernet Sauvignon wine that i have in my hands. She doesn’t take one because she doesn’t ant to mix with the beer. While I’m talking to her I see Zach A. from the aggie. I say hello. We have never met in person but we have e-mailed each other. Zach is also Casey’s R.A. Maybe Zach would have more to say about 17 year old Casey being at a kegger, if Zach didn’t show up with a freshman as his date.

Zach and I talk about the letters we write to each other. he’s conservative and I’m somewhat of a liberal. I talk to Zach about Ihsan a little bit also. About Ihsan coming to a drunken get together on Tuesday night. I leave out the part where Ihsan stated talking about the horribly graphic story about rape that i submitted to Seele magazine that spawned my story about the child molester my best friend Jearme beat up. Or about showing my penis to anyone that asks to see it. I just say that i want to be a columnist next year. Zach thinks I’ll be good for the paper.

I see Lisa and we yell at each other. Then dan here’s us and we all yell in unison, pirates of the pentagram. i pick Lisa up and she wraps her legs around me. i hop up and down and start yelling, “My first friend. my first friend.” Lisa goes over and sits on Dan’s lap. then she scolds Jackson P. for being a tracer. (this event will be later documented in Jackson’s Tuesday comic strip.) I also try to confront my enemies by stirring up a conversation with Stan about why he doesn’t like me but he just looks at me like he wants me to go away.

I see Dan talking to Ashley %%diary-ashbobash%% and i get introduced to her friends Caitlin and Ally. Ashley rubs the back of mohawk. Then I start going throughout the house. i see that Aisha has shown up. then I start talking to these teenage guys. i ask them how old they are and they finally confess to being 15 and 16. i tell them how cool it is that they are exploiting the college students. more highschoolers need to do that.

I take major piss. God damn it it looked like I pored a half gallon of apple juice into the toilet.

I walk into Dan’s room. he is playing a computer game. he has been sober for five months from everything. Its one thing to be sober but the guy is completely avoiding the party. Solipsism is not the only cure for alcoholism. but i guess whatever works. I was at Safeway the last time he bought booze. I think he is somewhat amused to see me drunk.

The high schoolers come into the room and think i am the coolest guy there because I keep telling them how cool they are. they want my phone number because they want me to tell them where the parties are at. i give it to them, but I’m not going to tell them where every party is at. I’m not going to tell them about the party on Friday, but i will tell them about the KDVS Dance party at Delta Venus at 8 pm Saturday night that i am going to.

I see cameron and he says he wants to come to Write CLub but a class conflicts. he wants me to perform my Picnic Day poem. i say it may be in my car. I walk to me car and I see Casey again and she wants me to dress in my Klan outfit. i told her about during our conversation about what i have been doing. She leads me to my car and I don’t really want to put on the outfit. But in a way i do. I like fucking with people. i like fucking with the Klan. But what is the point. i won’t have the opportunity to articulate my disdain for racism while bands like Keep Your Distance and the list are playing. i put it on anyway and we go back to the party. people see us and get freaked out. i feel bad because some African american college students are walking up to the house and they look at each other like, “what the fuck is going on.” The music is blaring so i can’t articulate. I don’t want to do this. I walk in the front door and Stan sees me. he is playing guitar in his band. he doesn’t even have a “what the fuck” look on his face because he isn’t surprised by anything that i do. or amused. I yell that the “KKK loves Stan.” This guy gets angry and takes off my hood and says that I’m freaking people out. I tell him that I’m taking over the KKK and turing it into a fun loving organization. The guy says i can’t do that because i’m a white man. this guy is white also. i ask him what he has done recently do curtail racism in the world. he just doesn’t get the joke. Its a tie dyed KKK outfit worn by me, a member of the green party. the first girl i ever tried to date in high school was African American. Some of my best friends are jewish or bi-sexual or both. But still, i go back to my car and take the outfit off.

I see these girls that go to alternative Film Club and volunteer at KDVS. i ask them what there names are. meagan, Stacey, and Heather. they like the commentary that my friends and i shout at the screen during the movies. i tell them that we are going to run the club next year. they are excited by that because they’re glad the club won’t die.

I run into Kisa and she is angry with Azver. i don’t even know what about. he has gone to get more Sangria once before in the night. That bottle is gone. They are just testy at each other. I try to calm them down and reconcile them, but apparently I’m a mohawked madman not a counselor, because i don’t help. Azver leaves for Safeway.

I go and sit down next to Kristen on the the couch. I talk to her about how drunk she is. Aaron from the Aggie and the Brilliant red Lights and my hemingway class is also sitting on the couch. I talk to him about the shitty article that Nick H. wrote about Write Club. Aaron agrees it was shitty. He also says that Dan is a great writer, one of the best that works for the Aggie. Aaron is a rather quiet drunk. i had to squeeze the words out of him. i don’t trust quiet drunks. i don’t trust quite people in general. they sound like they are up to something.

Aisha sees me talking to Aaron and comes over and I don’t know if i introduce them or not but they start talking. I shout Pirates of the Pentagram at Lisa and Dan shouts it from the other room. Azver shows up. He just got harassed by the COPs. he was walking while arab, a terrible crime nowadays. he bought ice cream that is now half-melted. he doesn’t want it anymore. lisa comforts him. He starts crying because its not right that the COPs fuck with him. i tell him he is a better man than i because he has to endure the harassment. He shouldn’t have to, but no matter what - he will always have thicker skin than me. then i start eating his ice cream because he doesn’t want it. i give some to Aisha and Kristen.

After Azver’s episode with the COPs it is about time to leave. We collect Jordan, Kristen, Heather, Dan, lisa, Azver, and I and we all pile into Azver’s suburban. We drop off Kristen and Jordan. I wonder if it is a decent idea to drop off a very drunk girl at Jordan’s place but Kisa swears by Jordan’s honor and i trust her. Then we drop of Heather and Dan. heather goes with Dan into his apartment to make out, but I doubt there will be any etcetera etcetera. Lisa offers her couch because Azver and her aren’t in the mood to fuck.

I sleep on the couch for the second night in a row.

5/18.2003

I wake up with a cramp in my leg. Yesterday Eloise woke up at Lisa’s place with a cramp in her legs. The place is contagious. Azver and lisa occasionally have sex. If only sexual activity was contagious.

Azver, lisa, and I talk about the party and then i go to work.

I work with Caroline today. i rarely work with Caroline. her father is a the Beer making professor at UC Davis and i am going to take his class in the fall. Caroline is British so i usually talk about Beer and Britain with her. She also seems to be amused by my (lack-of)-love-life. She is constantly having roommates or boyfriend problems. Her boyfriend once went to a strip club and swore to her he didn’t look at the dancers. he just went because his friends went. LLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIEEEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

Today she had a near asthma attack and starts crying. It was really freaky. i had no idea what to do. Death is more than is more than just a destination at the end of a highway, it could be in the air you are about to breath, or the air you aren’t about to breath becuase you won’t be aboe to breath.

After work I go to the computer lab and run into Lisa L. she says she liked my reading at Delta Venus on Wednesday. i wrote that she is slightly full of herself, but now that she actually acknowledged another write besides herself (I know I know, that write is me, but regardless) I’ll retract my negative statements. Then i saw Erika, kristin’s roommate. Then I saw Annaleise. The I walked to my car parked around the corner from Lillard.

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