2003-05-26 - 8:30 p.m.

Part one of three added on 5/26.

5/22.2003 Continued

With much alcohol in hand back over to Wellman two. Dan has three bottles of vine. We’re not going to get nearly as smashed as we did last Thursday. Although last Thursday went very nicely for me. I’m not going to getting a mouthful of breasts and a handful of ass tonight. Tonight I have to stay sober enough to drive Sarah (%%diary-slothra%%) home from Davis to Sacramento. Although I’m not saying I wouldn’t mind having a mouthful and handful of Sarah’s body, I am a man and there isn’t a guy that I know that would mind if that a night like that happened to him, but that’s not in the plans. Sarah is my asexual friend. And my very good friend. We are very honest with each other. I would like to think of us as being a sort of mutual psychologist for each other. The only psychiatry we do for each other is prescribe alcohol.

So back at Wellman two Rock and Roll High School (with the Ramones) is just beginning to play. The big group of us sit in our usual space. Front row, as center as we can get. Jaizi sits by me and mooches some chips. Nathan, this freshman guy I know from some English classes who went to the Matrix with on us on Monday, sits down behind me. We start passing around the bottle. Every time I get the bottle I just take a sip. I’ll settle for a buzz. I get drunk too often. Truer words were never spoken. I would say this film had one of the greatest soundtrack’s ever. The greatest score is The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly But soundtracks can be debated. Maybe The Doors. Maybe Singles. But Rock and Roll High School is a definite maybe.

We heckle the movie when we can. Joey Ramone had some fucked up teeth. Some of the outfits are ridiculous. I love the Ramones because the transcended punk rock. I am annoyed by a lot of punkrockers even though I listen to a lot of punk rock. Old school punk rock. Only the legends. So many bands waste away in obscurity because they belong in obscurity.Iggy Pop and the Stooges, The Ramones, The Misfits, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Black Flag, Minor Threat, the New York Dolls, The Circle Jerks, Dead Kennedys, and probably a few more I am forgetting about that do not belong in obscurity. The Ramones were the original pop punk band. And they will always be the best. They never called themselves punkrockers, the called Sheena a punkrocker. The best punk rock is not played by people claiming to be punk rockers. Even Marx said he isn’t a Marxist.

During the movie Nathan gets drunk. Sarah talks a lot with Dan. I sit next to Chris. The main character of the movie, Riff Randal (there is a band in Sacramento named after this character), is very amusing. The whole idea of everyone at a high school loving the Ramones is very amusing. If everyone loved the Ramones we would all have world peace. But alas, there are many uncool people in the world - and that includes high school - that don’t like the Ramones. So look at all the fucked up shit in the world that could be cured with a little Blitzkrieg bop.

After the movie think Sarah is a little uneasy because she thinks I’m drunk. She doesn’t say it, and I’m not. I’m just hyper because I just listened to a lot of the Ramones and I’m in a crowded room with a lot of people I know. I have to put on the Rob Roy show.

Some time while the film showed Annaleise showed up and sat next to Nathan behind me. This kind of throws a wrench in the evenings plan because James, Chris, Dan, Sarah, and I are all going to the g Street Pub. Annaleise is going to distract James. James still wants her back, regardless if he says he is over her. she is his first love. Sometimes love can be the hardest venereal disease to get rid of.

Jaizi says she wants to go to G Street but I see her talk to some guy in the hallway and go off with him. I walk up the stairs with Sarah, Annaleise, and Nathan. Nathan is lamenting over the disappearance of Jaizi. So am I, this is the first time I have really met her. I have scene her at KDVS and at Ben & Jerry’s, but never talked to her. Does Nathan thinks he’s the only guy that wants to fuck her? I think the guy she left with is her boyfriend. Nathan mumbles about the girl with the fishnet stalkings. Annalise. Before I can tell him that it is hopeless. That she is dating a guy ten years older than him and that if he did try anything on Annaleise James may have a first-in-a-lifetime experience of beating Nathan’s ass. Nathan says, "hey, what are you doing this weekend." Annaliese looks at him like he is crazy. I tell Nathan we are going somewhere he can’t because we are going to G. Street pub. Eventually Nathan starts stumbling home.

Dan and Sarah start talking about how they used to see each other before they met. They have similar styles. They were a lot of brown, black, green. Very dull colors, except Dan has blue paint on his shoes. He’s Dan Blue Shoes. Sarah talks about how Dan is the male equivalent of her. Sarah is practically a man except for her physiology.

Chris, Dan, Sarah, and I walk to the pub, stopping at the bank first. I wonder what percentage of my income I spend on alcohol. Christians give ten percent of their income to their God. I bet my god of alcohol is bigger than their god. I can taste the salvation in beer wine and spirits. Ya see, my Holy Spirit is named Jonnie Walker Scotch Whiskey.

James and Annaleise follow behind. The four of us talk about how we are disappointed in James. He is supposed to come and drink with us and he is dilly-dallying, but he’s not going to be diddling so what is the point?

Sarah is getting upset. She thinks about testing James and seeing if he would be willing to give her a ride home. She says friends always fail her. That makes me fear the future. I’m destined for failure, because if she is right then friends always fail her. So far, I haven’t known Sarah to be wrong about much of anything. I offer to act extra drunk tonight to see if James will offer her. She says not to because she doesn’t really want to fuck with James.

Sarah and Chris get into a muted argument about how drunk James should get. Sarah wants him to enjoy drinking and make it into a habit. "Some friend," I tell her. No one wants to drink alone so if the whole world were alcoholics then loneliness would be cured. Chris wants to get James plastered because James never has. Chris pretty much thinks James liver is still basically a virgin. He wants James to go all the way into the realm of inebriation for the evening. I’m leaning more toward Sara’s side then Chris’. I want to see James drunk, but most of all I want him to be comfortable. This is going to be hard to do because James is obsessed with controlling his perimeters. James is always desperately trying to maintain self-control. He is a man that calculates his actions. He is not a wild man. He is always thinks ten steps ahead of himself. Booze might dwindle his preparation to only one step or two. This will fuck James’ mind. Sarah and I don’t want to permanently screw up James so he will never touch booze again. Plus if he starts to stagger and fall, his baldhead has no cushion so we don’t want to see that happen.

By the time we get to G Street James and Annaleise are nowhere to be seen. The four of us go in anyways. We buy a pitcher of Beer. Sarah buys her own beer. She won’t drink the Budweiser. She’s an elitist but at least she admits it. Budweiser isn’t dark enough. Sarah only wears brown green and black clothes. Never golden. She gets a pint of Boont beer. She only wears dark clothes on her body and she only puts dark beer in her body.

Chris is always slightly offended when people turn down Budweiser. It is his favorite beer. It is "The King of Beers." He always points this out. I guess he’s right. If America is a democracy then they have voted with their buying power and elected Budweiser as their King of beers. I guess that tells you about the state of democracy in America when we elect a king.

If Chris was in Mexico he would drink Tecate, because it is the Mexican "King of Beers."

While Sarah is off getting some alcohol we see Rachel and sit her down at her table. We pore her a beer but she only takes a few ounces. She is small Pillipno girl but she can only down a thumb's length of beer an hour, I can down an arm's length. The irony of the size of her beer consumption is that she complains about the serving sizes at Ben and Jerry’s to me. She says that a small is really small. I tell her some people just want that much ice cream, just as she just wants only so much beer. Rachel has to get up and go because Dan M. is going to be getting home about now and she wants to meet him. The little Pillipino wants some penis.

Sarah sits back down and the four of us talk shit about James for standing us up. But James shows up in the nick of time and Sarah forgives me. Sarah is the only reason he is coming to the bars. Chris, Dan, and I have asked him many times to come, but he always declines. Nothing is more persuasive than a vagina.

James sits down with us. He went to Woodstock’s pizza with Annaliese and then walked her home. Sarah gets up and gets James a drink. Sarah used to be a bartender. She asks James if wants Cranberry or ice cream. He decides on Cranberry.

A girl comes up to James and starts talking to him. I drag a chair from another table and put it behind Chris. Chris drags it a little more and puts it next to James. The girl sits down. After a few minutes James calls me over and introduces her as Sheryl. I shake her hand and say that I am Rob Roy. James probably already told her I am the infamous Rob Roy. James and I are both entertained both this notion of infamy. James says they went to high school together. I say, "in the middle of nowhere. In Benicia." Cheryl says, "hey Vallejo is right next to Benicia." I say, "I know. I used to live there." I then continue and say, "there is one place worse than Benicia because no matter how bad Benicia gets. It still isn’t Martinez." the both of them laugh because Martinez is the shit whole town in the very east San Francisco bay area that is across the bridge from Benicia. It is an ugly hellhole.

I go back to my seat and let James continue his conversation with Cheryl. She is very cute. I like small dark women. James finishes up his conversation with her and I go over and talk to James. James says that she likes me. I ask what that means. He says she pointed me out and has seen me around. James takes this as interest in me. I’m a peculiar looking fellow; a lot of people see me around. James knows I like Latino ladies. He says she just got dumped by her boyfriend so she is on the rebound. I’ll give her a consolation fuck if she wants one. But she is going down the street to the Cantina. I don’t go the Cantina. It’s not my scene. It’s not my style. It’s too much of a mainstream dance club without any character. It is not Rob Roy style.

Sarah wants to go play pool so we make our way into the adjacent room. All the tables are taken. Sarah sees a TV game that she wants to play with me. We play a few games of memory where we are supposed to remember which square has what naked girl. Then we play some Strip poker on the TV. Sarah chooses this girl that is dressed like a schoolteacher. I love a woman dressed to educate. Makes me what to get under the desk and put my mouth on the red apple between her thighs.

Sarah becomes rather competitive with the video game. I’m not to good at fake poker. I’m all right at the memory games. Maybe Sarah just wants to see the girl naked. sarah says she can't date someone that isn't willing to hceck out chicks worth. the irony of this statement is that Sarah aslso says she doesn't date. But I oggle the computer chicks with her.

While we are playing the game James is staring off into space. Chris has given him a pint of beer and he is drinking it and probably thinking about Annaleise. Dan is getting very drunk. He keeps lunging forward to touch the screen during memory. We assume he doesn’t know what he is doing so we try to hold him back, even when he knows the right answers. Chris is playing pool.

Sarah talks about wanting to go to San Francisco. Just her, me, Dan, and James. Just for a day. She doesn’t want Chris to come, although she never actually says this. I just read where she is going. Sarah is the only woman that I can read easily. Or at least I just do a better job reader her than I do other women. Sarah and Chris aren’t getting along. Chris is having a bad week. His car broke down, he forgot about his pass time to sign up for fall classes; we got screwed by the real estate agent about the house we are supposed to get. So he is giving off negative energy and Sarah is getting a bad vibe from him.

Sarah keeps looking at my lips. She tells me my mustache is sexy. Goddamn she knows how to tease a man.

Chris starts to suck at pool. Sarah wants to play and I volunteer to be her partner. The two guys playing us are pretty good. One guy is much better than the other is. Which is different than our team. Our team has an excellent player with Sarah and a sub par player with me. We are up against a cowboy and a frat boy. The cowboy is the better of the two. Sarah breaks the balls and proceeds to work the q-ball the way she wants it to go like a queer gigolo working a cock in a back alley of Castro Street. Lets just say she knows what she is doing.

We win the first game. We are being good sports and congratulating them on good shots. I look over and see veronica, the roommate of Dani walk in. I hope she doesn’t say anything to me. I wish I could say she probably doesn’t remember me staying the night at her apartment, but I’m a tough fucker to forget. I’m also not worth her time to bother with.

Dan comes up and says he likes talking to people he knows don’t like him. He starts yelling about a guy named Cody. "Fucking Cody." Cody doesn’t like Dan. Dan went up and said hello and Cody asked Dan why he thinks they are at a point in their relationship where Dan can talk to him outside of work. I don’t know this now, but Cody is Dan’s boss. The same guy that told %%diary-DianaBee%% that "rape can be justified." This is the type of guy I want to dismantle in a bar fight. But alas, I am ignorant of this at the moment and I will find these things out later.

We play another game of pool and we win. This time I actual sink a couple of shots. Sarah tells James that she is hearing the two guys we are playing (the cowboy is named Sam) making Jew jokes.

A girl rushes up to me and hugs me. Her name is Vanessa and she is my viticulture class. We talk about the quiz we had today. I point to Sarah and tell her that she is also in the class. Sarah doesn’t get a hug. The girl is plastered; otherwise she wouldn’t be hugging me. She looks like her father is a doctor or a lawyer; my father cleans toilets for a living. She talks to guys that wear Ambercrombie and Fitch and Eddie Buar. I wear whatever fits my body, my budget and my fashion. She confirms this by asking about my KDVS shirt. She knows Heather K. from KDVS because she rides horse at the same stable. Equestrians are wealthy. That is a redundant statement and a true statement. The poor don’t own horses; they just clean up horse shit.

I have only had two pints of beer during our time at G Street. But I’m not shooting pool that way.

Sarah has had a good deal of alcohol. She is playing the distracting maiden role and she leans over in front of me and wiggles her ass. I tell her to do it again and then I spank it. She says that now I know how boney her ass is. I guess this is her version of what I did to Lisa D. last weekend. I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around me and I hopped her up and down and yelled, "my first friend. My first friend." I am Sarah’s first friend at Davis but I don’t think she’s going to hop on me, she’ll just get drunk and let me smack her ass while we play pool. Pool halls are like Native American Reservations; they have different rules that don’t apply to the outside world. Asses get smacked and faces don’t get smacked in reaction. Newton’s law is proven wrong.

During the last game the Sam guy gets on a role and we are hopeless. They win the game. But it’s getting late and time to leave. Chris and Dan are going to go to Froggy’s bar down the road. James is going to walk with Sarah and I.

We walk to my car parked on Sixth Street. I drive James home first before I go to Dan’s apartment to pick up Sarah’s backpack and my backpack. James says, "oh you’re trying to get rid of me." I say it is just a space issue. I won’t have room in my messy car for two backpacks and three people. I think James is jealous that I get to drive Sarah home. I don’t know if he thinks I’m going to put the moves on her.

We drop James off and go to Dan’s apartment. He has given me his key. We’re supposed to get our stuff and leave the key by the phone and also leave the sliding door open. I forget to unlock the door and I look the key inside. I say that I looked the key inside and Sarah gets worried. I walk around the corner and check the glass door and it is open. Good. Otherwise Dan would have been pounding on the door at 2:30 in the morning for his roommate to let him in.

I start to drive Sarah back to Sacramento. We talk about the night. We talk about how she was playing the part of a flirty pool shark at G Street. "We all play parts," I tell her.

And plus she was drunk. The beauty of alcohol is that it can possess a person. It can create a whole new person in someone you know. If you spend enough time with a person and do differnent chemicals with them then you can have several friends that have the same name and are the same person.

While Driving Sarah home I tell her about what Aisha said on Wednesday night. That I should fuck Dan. And if not that, I should fuck the female counterpart of Dan. And Sarah has been talking about how she is the female version of Dan. It is all very amusing.

I easily find Sarah’s house in mid town Sacramento. She tells me her mother bought it because she was supposed to get glaucoma and she needed to be by a good bus-line. Ten years later he mother doesn’t have glaucoma but she does have a good investment in a house.

I drop Sarah off at home. As I drive away at around 2 am, Annaleise comes on the radio. Her Sandy Graves show on KDVS is on Thursday nights at 2. I am amused that I was just talking to her a few hours ago. So much has happened since. I forgot about the time of her show even though I have co-hosted her show. It just made the world feel small. The world is one of god’s testicles and we should just be thankful he doesn’t scratch it that often.

previous - next